As the bright light of the Oscars begins to fade, I thought it might be time to reflect on how pompous and conceited the movie industry really is. To that end, let me present to you Politicoid’s thoughts on the most overrated movies of the year past. Every one listed is a bona fide case of pure drivel, but somehow they manage to get rave reviews. Hopefully one day I will get paid to write glowing reviews of utterly shit movies, too (anyone..?). Or perhaps there is a conspiracy to provide critics with completely different movies from the ones released to the public?
There is an outside chance that I am just wrong. As a sceptic, I should at least entertain the idea.
Idea entertained. Thesis rejected. And on with the show…
Sometimes I worry that I am too harsh in my reviews. Then I watch the movies again, and realise that I’m not. Over-produced and underwhelming, Lawless must rate as one of the most hideous examples of mis-casting in cinema history. The only way I can see that Lawless could have been enjoyable would be if they cast Oderous Urungus and Balsac the Jaws of Death, of Gwar, in the lead roles. Scrap that, just replace the cast with the entire band. I can’t imagine how they got such a stellar cast involved, except that some form of mass hysteria struck once they got Tom Hardy and Guy Pearce on board. I can only hope this was followed by a case of mass diptheria.
Flight wins a Face-Palme d’Or for inscrutably dense (in both senses of the word) use of symbolism. Bible-battery has never been something that I enjoy, and when an entire movie is contrived to do just that, I move from face-palm to eye-gouge territory. Even if you are a christian (no, you don’t get a capital ‘C’), you should still be mightily embarrassed with this chunder-inducing pile of haemorrhoidal pap. If this film doesn’t make you want to die, then you probably actually deserve to die.
…Or, for that matter, the entire Twilight series. It actually pains me to write anything at all about this uber-franchise. I get it, right – it’s not aimed at me or my general demographic. But I was a teenager once too, you know, and when I think of the movies I used to like, they fucking rocked the place. I mean, it is definitely possible to make movies for Da Yout that aren’t totally diarrhea-engendering cheese-fests – look at Harry Potter. It is even possible to make great cheesy movies, such as Back to The Future. Add to that the fact that I still haven’t met a single person that liked Twilight. Perhaps I just haven’t been grooming enough tweens lately…
And at number one we have The Hunger Games. I’ll admit it wasn’t as cheesy as Twilight, nor as inappropriately casted as Lawless. Nor did it try to beat me with a Bible. Hunger Games gets my top spot because, on top of the generally rubbish nature of the screenwriting, set design and style it is a shameless rip-off a far superior movie, Battle Royale. Not having seen Battle Royale is no excuse for thinking THG is a great movie, though – it is crap in any number of other ways too.
So why is it that these hopelessly stupid films get such rave reviews? Other than the theories raised above, the only reason I can think of is that people are, en-masse, tasteless and banal as well as prone to celebrity-worship and mass hysteria. But don’t lose hope! I can’t think of a good reason why you shouldn’t lose hope, but I suggest you don’t, cos without hope… well, I’ll leave that for another shit Hollywood movie to explain.